By Veronica Wilde
There’s a moment many mums know well. You finally sit down at the end of the day and realise you’ve answered everyone else’s needs except your own. The kids are sorted. Work deadlines are done. The washing is folded. Everyone has eaten.
As mums, especially within Filipino families and communities, many of us are taught to keep going no matter what. We are expected to be strong or put ourselves last. But constantly ignoring your own needs doesn’t make you stronger. Eventually, it catches up with your body, energy, mood and health.
Between work, parenting, caring responsibilities, and the mental load of running a household, women can become disconnected from themselves without even realising it. I see this often in my coaching work with women, who are finding it difficult to balance family, work and self-care.
Self-care is not selfish
You do not need to overhaul your entire life to feel better. The truth is, self-care is not selfish. It doesn’t have to mean expensive spa days or two hours in the gym. For most busy mums, it’s about creating small routines that help you feel more like yourself again. Small habits done consistently can make a huge difference.
So, how do we look after ourselves better?
1. Stop aiming for perfection
One of the biggest reasons women struggle with consistency is because they think everything has to be “all or nothing.” If they can’t do a full workout, they do nothing. If they eat one unhealthy meal, they give up for the day. If life gets busy, they stop completely and promise themselves they’ll “start on Monday”.
But real life doesn’t work like that. One option is to focus on what you can do instead of what you can’t. A 10-minute walk still counts. Stretching while dinner cooks still counts. Drinking more water still counts. Small actions build momentum.
2. Create habits that fit your real life
You don’t need a perfect routine. You need one that works in the middle of school runs, meetings, and family life. Some simple habits that may help include:
- Walking while taking phone calls
- Keeping a water bottle nearby during the day
- Adding protein to your breakfast
- Doing 5–10 minutes of movement before everyone wakes up
- Going to bed slightly earlier instead of scrolling on your phone
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s support. When healthy habits feel realistic, they become easier to maintain long term.
3. Move your body because you care about yourself — not because you hate yourself
Many women still approach exercise as a punishment. They work out because they feel guilty, aiming to shrink themselves or believing they have to “earn” their food.
But movement can become something very different. It can be a way to manage stress, boost energy, improve confidence, and support your hormones and mental wellbeing. It can also help you feel stronger for everyday life.
As we get older, strength training becomes especially important for women. Muscle naturally declines with age, which can affect balance, mobility, bone health, and overall quality of life. You do not need to become obsessed with fitness. But your body does need care.
4. Learn to ask for support
So many women are comfortable helping everyone else but struggle to ask for help themselves. Sometimes, self-care looks like saying no without guilt or asking your partner for extra help with chores or with the kids. It can be taking 20 minutes for yourself, meeting up with friends, or simply letting go of the pressure to do everything perfectly.
Remember: you matter. And often, when mums start looking after themselves, their families and children notice. Energy shifts inside the home.
Recently, I read something that really stayed with me: “I can feel everything and survive.” I think many women need to hear that. You do not need to have everything figured out before you begin taking care of yourself again. You can feel tired and still take one small positive step.
You can feel overwhelmed and still choose yourself for 10 minutes. You can start small and still create change.
Next steps
If you’ve been struggling to prioritise yourself, start with one simple habit this week. Just one. Maybe it’s drinking more water, going for a short walk or finally making time for movement again.
I also run a free online masterclass for busy women who want to feel stronger, healthier and more confident without extreme dieting or punishing workouts. The masterclass is designed to help women build realistic habits that actually fit around family and work life.
For those wanting more accountability and support, my 2-Week Habit Reset Challenge focuses on simple daily habits, movement, mindset, and consistency in a supportive environment. You do not need to become a different person overnight. You just need to keep becoming.
About the Author
Veronica Wilde
Veronica “V” Wilde is a UK-based women’s health and fitness coach with over 20 years of experience. Both of her parents were born and raised in the Philippines, and her Filipino heritage strongly shapes her values around family, resilience, and community.
She specialises in helping busy women build strength, confidence, and sustainable habits through realistic training, lifestyle support, and accountability/habit based coaching. Connect with her on Instagram or Facebook.
