Keep Kalmado and Mother On: The joys of family digital detox

By Cat Wigley

Technology is now a standard part of learning in schools and at home. A study shows how technology has increased the cognitive level of children versus those who do not have access to it. In our family, we have subscribed to Doulingo for our Welsh learning, IXL for our curriculum-based top-up work, and Simply Piano for the kids’s music lessons.

However, technology is also the biggest source of distraction in our lives. Although it has made some aspects of our life easier, it is also taking so much of our personal and family time. I see this with my husband, coming home from work yet continuing to work overtime to meet impossible deadlines.

The truth is, managing children’s screen time is one of the biggest challenges for parents of this generation. Technology has become our major competition in getting our children’s attention. My kids – who used to crave spending time outdoors – now prefer to spend more time on their phones. Going out of the house is now a battle of compromises with our older children.

During the recent term break, our family decided to go for a digital detox and we asked our community to pray for us, joking that we are leaving a bit of civilisation behind! One day without access to phones or tablets seems realistic but to go without them for a week? Now, that might turn out to be a nightmare.

So we wanted to take back what is rightfully ours – genuine family time. Over the school break, we decided to go somewhere where the internet connection was weak. Our friends lent us their holiday home for a week so my family can do some catching up. We left all our gadgets at home. We did bring along a phone but we left it in the car for emergency purposes.  For one week, we spent time playing board games, doing arts and crafts, and riding around on bikes and scooters for some outdoor fun. 

Here’s what we learned from our week-long digital detox:

Deepening relationships

Our older children focused their attention on their younger siblings. They enjoyed taking more responsibility in caring for the younger ones. They played together and accommodated each other as the older kids taught the younger ones how to use a scooter and roller skates.

We also overheard our kids talking about varied topics: from school crushes, ROBLOX strategies (oh well!), books they love, plans for next-day adventures, and future careers. Did you know that being a flying ballerina teacher is a thing?  Both our older kids were having so much fun engaging in meaningful conversations with each other – their nightly chats were full of giggles.

Getting back to what we love

Before our kids had access to gadgets, they loved to draw and paint. But as soon as they had their own tablets and phones, they set these hobbies aside. I was happy to see that for the first time in a long while, my eldest son went back to his interest which is drawing. He brought with him his drawing pencils and a drawing guide. As for me and hubby, we were able to do some reading. There were squabbles but only related to UNO, chess, Scrabble, Jenga, or book reviews.

Enjoying cooking and mealtimes together

In Filipino culture, we do not just eat during mealtime, but we fortify bonds. At home, although we eat together, it seems everyone is in a rush to return to their paused movie or games, or to continue chatting with their friends. But away from screens, there was no reason for the kids to rush, and we had good, long conversations over the dinner table.

Parenting mindfully

I have not practised this for a long time. I used to love observing my children’s behaviour. But I have stopped doing this now – what is there to observe anyways? When my children come home from school, the first thing they do is turn on their gadgets. But during our holiday, I noticed how my children have grown so fast. My son is almost as tall as I am now. My daughter is emotional these days and currently experiencing body changes. My other daughter has a special need. My youngest is feisty. Our holiday has given me time to bond with my kids and appreciate their unique personalities.

Reclaiming our mental health

For a week, we didn’t hear any pinging! Notifications are enough to make you feel anxious. Reminders for deadlines and meetings are enough to squash your spirits. It was good to be relaxed and spontaneous for a week and to let our spirits catch up with our bodies.

Our eldest daughter thanked us for the no technology week, when she and her brother rekindled their relationship. We definitely had a good night’s sleep for a week, stress-free and with deepened connections. 

Technology has its place in children’s learning but let’s be on guard in keeping our family life less dependent on technology. Even tech titans like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs have made sure that their kids had limited use of tablets and mobile phones. Giving them up from time to time has more positives than negatives.

At the end of our holiday, we couldn’t wait to post our adventures on Facebook. The irony! Oh well, it’s time to dance to the music again. We are certainly looking forward to our next no-tech week!

About the author